St. James Catholic Church | Kansas City

Fr. Garry's Reflections

stjames.kc@sbcglobal.net — Fri, 23 Jan 2009 15:34:00 GMT

Welcome to Fr. Garry's Reflections!

Parishioners often comment on how much they enjoy reading Fr. Garry's column in the Sunday bulletin every other week. His reflections are both inspirational for personal contemplation and great conversation starters. We hope that the conversation can continue here on this blog. We encourage you to participate by adding your own comments. By listening to each other and trying to understand differing perspectives we can grow more fully in our relationships with God and each other.

Please note that comments are generally posted the following business day. All comments are solely the opinions of those posting them and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of St. James Catholic Church, the Diocese of Kansas City-St. Joseph or the universal Catholic Church.

Fr. Garry's Reflections

stjames.kc@sbcglobal.net — Sun, 28 Feb 2010 20:54:00 GMT

Thought for the day:

When you get sick of being sick, you stop being sick. The sage has gotten sick of being sick, therefore he/she is no longer sick!

- Lao Tzu

One definition of insanity, the ultimate mental sickness, is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results. Most of us would probably say we don't do that. But we are all sick in our own ways and we often end up doing exactly that. How many times have we told someone they are wrong and we are right, expecting them to say, "Oh, thank you for setting me straight,”? Have we ever gotten that response? How many times have we used force/violence against another person or country expecting to have lasting peace as a result? One would think that we would get sick of the same old results of doing the same old things, and we would try something different. But maybe we're not yet sick enough of being sick.

Lent is a time of naming our sickness/sin—that which we do that creates suffering, pain, alienation, resentment, violence and hatred. Then we need to ask ourselves the question, "Am I sick enough of these same old results to stop being sick (i.e. to do something different)?” We can wait till we are so sick that we are on our "death bed" before we do something different, or we can act before it gets that bad. The choice is up to us.

"I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live." Dt. 30:19

Fr. Garry's Reflections

stjames.kc@sbcglobal.net — Sun, 14 Feb 2010 19:58:00 GMT

Thought for the day:

Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.

- Anonymous

I did a summer of CPE (Clinical Pastoral Education) which teaches you how to be a hospital chaplain. But it was more like group therapy. The process was designed to help aspiring chaplains to look inside and honestly acknowledge what makes them "tick." One of the first questions a facilitator asked me was, "What do other people do that makes you really angry?" I didn't realize it at the time, but it was a way of asking me what I didn't like about myself, because we often see a reflection of ourselves when we have strong reactions to others.

Owning up to this fact about this human tendency can be very valuable in helping us grow beyond our biases, prejudices and hatreds. It can help us react to others with forethought and right judgment rather than with the all too prevalent "knee jerk" reaction.

One very public example of not realizing the above dynamic is the two parties in congress. When one is in power the other criticizes it for trying to ram legislation through without bipartisan support. When the second party regains control of congress they want to do exactly what they criticized the other party for. This doesn't work in congress, and it doesn't work in any other arena of human interaction.

Understanding and honestly acknowledging our real motivations can save us from needless fighting, suffering, division and war. We need to look deeply into the mirrors that other people are for us.

Fr. Garry's Reflections

stjames.kc@sbcglobal.net — Sun, 31 Jan 2010 21:14:00 GMT

Thought for the day:

The real enemies of our life are the "oughts" and the "ifs." They pull us backward into the unalterable past and forward into the unpredictable future. But real life takes place in the here and the now. God is a God of the present.

- Henri Nouwen

It is very difficult to enjoy peace and happiness when our focus is on the past. Regret and resentment make us constantly relive past pain and suffering, and make it almost impossible to enjoy anything now. Even pleasant memories of the past can divert our attention from what is going on now.

Fear is future-focused. It also spoils whatever might be enjoyable in the present.

God is not present in the past -- the past is gone. Only our memories of the past exist, and they are now. God is not present in the future -- the future doesn't exist, it never gets here. Only our ideas of what the future might be exist, and those ideas are now. That means all of God's presence, all of God's love, all of God's action is present right now, in this moment. If we are looking elsewhere, we will miss God. It also means that everything that we are or could be exists in this present moment. This way of thinking can provide a sense of peace that nothing else can match. It breaks the chains of the past and the future, and allows us freedom to make the present what we want it to be. Because right now is the only thing we have a choice about. It's really all there is.

Fr. Garry's Reflections

stjames.kc@sbcglobal.net — Sun, 17 Jan 2010 21:13:00 GMT

Thought for the day:

People create big problems out of nothing. You create them because without problems you feel empty.

- Dharma

There was a Sunday morning TV show whose goal was to demonstrate that fundamentalist Christianity is right and all other religions are wrong. It did this in the guise of a debate. Various non-believers were invited on the show to debate one-on-one with a fundamentalist preacher. Depak Chopra, the well known Hindu speaker and writer, appeared on the show one Sunday. The preacher outlined all the reasons Chopra was wrong and that he was leading people down the road to hell. Chopra replied that what he writes and speaks is only his opinion, that he doesn't pretend to have the whole truth, and that he might be wrong. The preacher was frustrated because he couldn't argue and fight against someone who didn't see a problem with differences of opinions and who wouldn't fight back.

A problem is something we have to fight against in order to overcome it. And since there are many things that aren't the way we think they should be, we have an infinite number of problems to fight against. We fight so much that it becomes "normal," and if we don't fight we feel empty or purposeless. Our whole life can be one big fight, which makes peace (world peace, peace of mind, marital peace, etc.) impossible to attain.

An alternative is to focus on doing the most loving, caring thing we can in any situation without trying to overcome any enemy or problem. This cultivates peace. And the energy we were wasting on fighting can now be used to communicate loving kindness.

What makes something a problem or an opportunity is only our perception of it. Dealing with opportunities makes life much more pleasant and peaceful.

Fr. Garry's Reflections

stjames.kc@sbcglobal.net — Sun, 03 Jan 2010 16:33:00 GMT

Thought for the day:

When I give food to the poor, they call me a saint.
When I ask why they are poor, they call me a communist.

- Helder Pessoa Câmara

This is the time of year people make New Year's resolutions. People look favorably on this activity because it involves at least the intent of making oneself a better person. So making a resolution to be more charitable to the poor can be seen as a step toward "sainthood." But if a person resolves to work to make an institution better so fewer people end up in poverty, that person is often seen as a trouble maker, unpatriotic, a socialist, a communist, etc.

In our culture we focus so much on individual responsibility that it is difficult for us to understand collective responsibility. It is thought that if each person does what he/she is supposed to, the system/organization/society/government will do what it is supposed to. That may be true, but human weakness and error throws a wrench in the works, and organizations end up contributing to problems like poverty. The only solution then is to change the organization in some way, and that involves challenging the status quo.

Jesus challenged a religious/cultural system (represented by the scribes and pharisees) that marginalized and persecuted certain groups of people. He was called a blasphemer, a troublemaker, a heretic, and he was killed for challenging the status quo. We will be in good company if we resolve this New Year to do likewise when needed in the systems we are part of.

Fr. Garry's Reflections

stjames.kc@sbcglobal.net — Sun, 20 Dec 2009 21:45:00 GMT

Thought for the day:

When they lose their sense of awe, people turn to religion. When they no longer trust themselves they begin to depend upon authority.

- Lao Tzu

If you have a question about God, religion has an answer. Religion strives to leave little doubt about who God is, what God does, where God is, what we should do in relation to God, etc. Catechisms are written to answer any and all questions like this. Unfortunately, when God and our relationship to God is lined out in black and white, mystery is pretty much removed from the equation, and there is little need for awe.

But we human beings tend to desire the certainty of religion's answers to the less certain realm of awe and wonder which we find when we delve into our own experience and find our own answers about God. We can be insecure in our own conclusions/answers about God, so we settle for someone else's answers (i.e. religious authority's answers).

As children we need to rely on the answers adults give us because we haven't the ability to accurately find our own answers. To be a mature adult we must depend upon our own judgment and find our answers. Only when we can do this in our relationship with God will we be spiritually mature people and really experience the awe of God's life in us.

Fr. Garry's Reflections

stjames.kc@sbcglobal.net — Sun, 06 Dec 2009 17:43:00 GMT

Advent is often called a time of waiting. This image connotes a passive "standing by," hoping that someone (the Messiah) will come and lift us out of sinfulness and the pain of this world. This idea has long been an underpinning of the Church's traditional theology -- that we can do nothing to earn God's mercy, but we can lose it by sinning. This way of thinking emphasizes our passively not doing something (not sinning) while waiting for God to save us. This view gives tacit approval to only doing the minimum (not sinning) and promotes the idea that people are basically helpless and powerless. People tend to live up to that image when that is what they are taught.

Another view of Advent is that it is a time of preparation for the reign of God. This image connotes not passivity, but active work in making something different. This view sees humans as having an active part (as co-creators) in building the reign of God. This idea promotes a positive image of the human person and proposes that the possibilities for good that we can do are endless -- that we are not stuck with only doing the minimum. People tend to live up to this view also when that is what they are taught.

We get to choose our view of Advent, as well as our view of the human person, regardless of what anyone or any church tells us. We will probably find much more hope and inner peace if we believe we can work along side God in preparing for the coming reign of God.

Fr. Garry's Reflections

stjames.kc@sbcglobal.net — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 18:03:00 GMT

Thought for the day:

Problems are opportunities in disguise. If you did not face problems you would just drift through life, and you would not gain inner growth.

- Peace pilgrim

Several people wants to drive to Phoenix but don't know how to get there. This creates a problem. They can resign themselves to not going to Phoenix, or they can go about solving the problem and find out how to get to Phoenix. If they solve the problem they become wiser, abler and more complete persons.

We often think that problems shouldn't exist; that this obstacle shouldn't be in our way, that that person should agree with us, that we shouldn't have to face this difficulty. It's easy to believe that something is just not right when we encounter a problem.

But what if we viewed problems as opportunities, as built-in life exercises designed to lead us to greater wisdom, strength, compassion, etc. Then we might feel a little less frustrated when we ran into a problem and more calm and peaceful knowing that in the end we will become better people by facing the problem head on and dealing with it. We don't become stronger people by sitting around and having everything handed to us. We become stronger people by struggling with problems and coming to a new level of ability.

Fr. Garry's Reflections

stjames.kc@sbcglobal.net — Sun, 11 Oct 2009 15:28:00 GMT

Thought for the day:

Violence is to be found in any action in which one acts as if one were alone to act: as if the rest of the universe were there only to receive the action; violence is consequently also any action which we endure without at every point collaborating in it.

-Emmanuel Levinas

When we think of violence we often envision war, murder, rape, robbery or some other obviously destructive act. Maybe that is why we humans find it easy to perpetrate more subtle forms of violence without recognizing them as such. Thus we have no problem shouting down those with whom we disagree because ours alone is the correct view. We often see no problem with acquiring and consuming as many resources as we can lay our hands on because our desires alone are what count. Those in authority often see nothing wrong in enforcing laws without listening to those who dissent.

Acting as if one is alone is destructive because it ignores and denies the fact that everything was created to work in concert and everything is interconnected. To make the point obvious, if the sun chose to act alone, we wouldn't be around long.

The opposite of violence is peace, which comes only when we are able to recognize our connections with the rest of creation and act for the good of all. We are one creation, one body. Living as such is the only way to healing, wholeness, and peace.

Fr. Garry's Reflections

stjames.kc@sbcglobal.net — Sun, 27 Sep 2009 15:26:00 GMT

In our tradition the seven deadly sins are "Lust," "Gluttony," "Greed," "Sloth," "Wrath," "Envy" and "Pride." Some believe that there should be another sin added to the list: "fear." After all, fear can be very deadly. The fear of losing land, oil, or other "possessions" has led to countless wars. The fear of African Americans has fueled racism since the abolition of slavery. The fear of homosexuals has resulted in unequal treatment of people and even the murder of some. The fear of chaos has prompted religions, including our own Church, to enforce strict, narrow doctrines and to excommunicate or execute dissidents.

Fear has not been included in the list of deadly sins because it is so much a part of us that we fail to recognize it. It is like the water we swim in. And even worse, we often use it to manipulate others to our advantage. The most obvious example today is the fear mongering going on about a new health care plan.

The opposite of fear is not courage, but trust. Trust means that we do what is loving despite our fear because we trust that God will do great things with our efforts. Trust in Jesus' law of love sometimes means not trusting our limited human perceptions which cause fear. This enables us to share despite the fear of not having enough for ourselves, to listen even when we fear we won't be heard, to forgive even though we fear being hurt again.

Trust in God and in God's love is the antidote to fear. And that trust is well-placed.

Fr. Garry's Reflections

stjames.kc@sbcglobal.net — Sun, 06 Sep 2009 19:25:00 GMT

Thought for the day:

The [one] who goes alone can start today; but [the one] who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.

- Thoreau

We human beings, especially in this culture today, tend to prioritize our goals in ways that cause us problems. It seems our most important goal can be summarized as "Git ‘er done!" This phrase emphasizes the importance of accomplishing the task, being successful and demonstrating results. It holds that the desired outcome is the point, the bottom line, and how one gets there is secondary. This is easier when one "goes alone" and doesn't have to wait on anyone else. Our government is historically notorious for its preference to "go alone" when dealing with international problems.

Traveling with another is more difficult, and takes more time and energy. It means placing more importance on relationship than on the bottom line. Reaching a specific outcome sometimes must be put on hold to honor another's participation in the relationship.

As difficult and sometimes frustrating as that is, it is exactly what Jesus called his followers to do. As easy and religiously expedient as it was for individuals to follow the law and shun the sinner, Jesus taught that we are to walk together as brothers and sisters, excluding none. He taught that the priority of walking together would help us reach all our other goals, including the goal of reaching the reign of God.

Fr. Garry's Reflections

stjames.kc@sbcglobal.net — Sun, 23 Aug 2009 19:58:00 GMT

"Practice makes perfect." That's a saying my dad would use when he was trying to teach me something difficult. I really didn't appreciate him saying it at the time, but I knew it was true. Practice is the process of doing something (usually over and over again) when it doesn't really matter, so that one is able to do it well when it does matter. For example, a person is not winning a game while practicing basketball free throws. But the practice will help the person sink free throws when they are playing a game.

We can practice all kinds of things in order to get better at them. Sometimes I will willingly follow a slower car even though I could easily pass it so I can practice patience. Then in the future when I'm stuck behind a slower car and can't pass it, I am better at being patient and I don't get so irritated.

There are things that are notoriously difficult for us human beings like listening, having patience, forgiving, being nonjudgmental and sharing, to name a few. They are difficult because we don't spend enough time practicing them when we don't have to. Then when we call on our ability to forgive (for example) in a "have to" situation, we are not good at it.

Practice opportunities present themselves constantly. We can even practice in our imagination anytime, which is just as effective. Practice does make perfect, but we have to devote the time and energy to the sometimes mundane work of practice to make our way toward perfection.

Fr Garry's Reflections

stjames.kc@sbcglobal.net — Sun, 09 Aug 2009 17:03:00 GMT

Thought for the day:

Except [for humans], nobody lies. A rosebush cannot lie. It has to produce roses; it cannot produce marigolds -- it cannot deceive. It is not possible for it to be otherwise than it is. Except [for humans] the whole existence lives in truth. Truth is the religion of the whole existence -- except [humans]. And the moment a [person] also decides to become part of existence, truth becomes his/her religion.

- Osho

In many ways, our culture is based on lying. Maybe not the bald-faced speaking of falsities, although there is plenty of that. Mostly it is changing the appearance of what "is" to something else, because what "is" is not what we want it to be. For example, I don't want my hair to be gray so I color it. My previous job of flipping burgers doesn't look good on my resumé so I say I have experience in the supply side of the food industry. We say we do not torture, so we call it "enhanced interrogation techniques." When harmless shading of the truth becomes the norm, it soon becomes harmful.

Using nature as a guide for reflection can be good practice to resist lying. Nothing in nature needs to be anything but what it is. No two trees are alike, but each is perfect as it is. Animals don't have beauty contests. Pigs have no need for deodorant.

Each of us is perfect as we are. We may be different tomorrow, depending on our choices. But right now this is who we are, and it is enough. There is no need to lie or to make believe we are anything different. The more we see ourselves that way, the more at peace we will be, and the less need we will have to force others to be how we think they should be.

Fr. Garry's Reflections

stjames.kc@sbcglobal.net — Sun, 12 Jul 2009 17:20:00 GMT

Thought for the day:

The spiritual aspirant must swim upstream, against the current of habit, familiarity and ease.

- Eknath Easwaran

We are creatures of habit. Habits make it easier to do helpful repetitive things automatically, like brushing teeth or finding our way to work each day. But habits also make it easier to repeat things that cause us problems. An example is prejudice, which is a habit of thinking about another group of people in a negative way. This habit enables us to avoid the sometimes difficult work of investigating and learning about who others really are.

A "spiritual aspirant" is someone who is trying to see as God sees, which is a monumental task that takes work and effort akin to swimming upstream. It involves seeing more than what meets the human eye, looking beyond mere appearances. It involves sorting through all the human foibles, weaknesses, sins and mistakes, and recognizing what God created in the first place: creatures modeled after God's own image. When seeing this way becomes a habit, it is much easier to treat others with love and respect even if they don't seem to respond in kind.